Monday, April 26, 2010

Quote

"Love is like a rumor. Everyone talks about it, but no one truly knows."

Thursday, April 22, 2010

The message [take time to understand]

To you:

I love you

Do you understand?

I always did

Why don’t you understand what I am saying?

I am telling you that I loved you for almost a year

I know that you knew, you always knew.

I hope you do too, you told me two times.

Yes I counted

Once in person and the other through a bbm. Yes I saved it

You remember what you said?

“I know you’re sleeping, but I just wanted to say I love you

regardless of anything we go through”

I hope you meant it

Because it made me love you more,

that's what gives me hope that everything will be okay in the end

promise

I promise this time I’m going through with my plans. I’ve let you go; letting you breathe and be on your own. But I promise that if you come back ANOTHER AGAIN I’m going to hold on tight like never before.


A year ago today was the day that I accepted that I was in love with you..smh

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Truth

I’m scared because I feel almost nothing for him anymore; or maybe I suppressed it all.

Nothing

So I check every day and still NOTHING. Maybe we are feeling the same way about things :-/

Everyone is telling me that I don’t talk about how I am feeling anymore; I just see it as a waste of time. It doesn’t change things so I keep everything inside. He was that person that I could talk to about things and now it’s just going to be hard to do the same thing with another. I feel like everyone who I ever trusted with my heart and mind has let me down in some kind of wayL. I’m just tired of feeling that way so now I don’t put myself in that predicament.

Monday, April 19, 2010

{explicit}

Fuck you Insomnia....I should be sleeping right now!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

April 17th

April 17th 2008 it's crazy how I remember the day that it all started. I never was big on remembering dates but it is just one that always stuck with me.
2 years
24 months
104 weeks
728 days
We been through a WHOLE lot in these past two years and of course you will always have a special place in my heart regardless of the things that we go through.
But nothing feels the same anymore, so I'm done trying to fix whatever ever is lost or broken.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

I don't get it

I just don't understand myself and my emotions some times. It's like he has a hold on me because...
but nothing feels the same

Monday, April 12, 2010

it gets harder

the truth

"Love hurts sometimes when you do it right"-John Legend

In the end

But right now it seems merely impossible

Saturday, April 10, 2010

foolish?!

My foolish heart wants so much of what it can't see but only feel and my mind wants so much to let go of all that it knows but isn't emotionally strong enough to stand on its own. So what am I to do? I care too much to just give up without trying one last time but one last time seems to be every time and I am always left with the same results...mad at myself that I didn't let go when I had so many chances to do so. Then sometimes my mind and heart work against me making me think that something GREAT would eventually come out of this but when is eventually going to get here? I feel like I am always there for you even when my mind tells me not to; but my heart just takes over. *I just need my mind to be stronger than my heart sometimes*

Friday, April 9, 2010

an end to the cycle

"Damn, I love you, but this is crazy.
I have to fight you almost daily.
We break up so fast and we...
we make up so passionately.
Why can't we just, trust each other?
You can hate me, be my lover."

I doubt that we will be doing this another again; because this clearly feels like the end.
I tried my best to hold on but I know that it is really time to move on.
You are someone who will always be apart of me but I have to leave you be.
We almost reached 2 years that has been filled with smiles and tears.
You told me that you would always love me regardless of anything we went through, but i see that this was too much for you.
Just remember that I never forced you to care or even be there

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Yo' side of the bed

Awake through the night, because I'm tossing and turning.....

Lost it's meaning


Some things lose their meaning. Like Spring, it's only a season to me now.

Acceptance


Losing something of great prominence isn’t always easy for an individual. It would take some adjusting to get used to and a lot of will power to accept that things are going to be different. It’s hard to re-adjust yourself from something that you are used to and meant a whole lot to you. Sometimes we want something so much that we lose sight of what it really is. What we must understand is that things in life will not always go our way even if we dreamt up a way for it to be. We have to understand that things happen for a reason, as well as people coming into our lives for a reason. Not everyone is meant to stay there; they could simply be there just to teach us a lesson. I do admit that it upsets me a bit the way things are but I do accept the decision that you physically made.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Just Friends ::Amy Winehouse::

When will we get the time to be just friends
It's never safe for us not even in the evening
'cos I've been drinking
Not in the morning where your shit works
It's always dangerous when everybody's sleeping
And I've been thinking
Can we be alone?
Can we be alone?

When will we get the time to be just friends
When will we get the time to be just friends

And no I'm not ashamed but the guilt will kill you
If she don't first
I'll never love you like her
Though we need to find the time
To just do this shit together
For it gets worse
I wanna touch you
But that just hurts

When will we get the time to be just just friends
When will we get the time to be just friends, just friends
When will we get the time to be just friends, just friends
When will we get the time to be just friends, just friends
Just friends

In a town so small still....

Changes


:: Food for thought:: We go through changes in life for a reason, those reasons might not be implemented right now but they will be in due time.


Monday, April 5, 2010

Simile

"We were like Martin and Gina, never let nothing come between us”

The pursuit of happiness